Price of the Dream
by the family ghost
Summary: Matthew loved his job as a nurse. He had no complaints in life. But one day, he met a girl that paid the price to live the American Dream. M for sensative subjects. nurse!Canada Fem!russia. no actual pairings
1. Chapter 1:child of a child

**A/N: last night I couldn't sleep. Usually i turn to writing when that happens, and this is just one of the stories that was the product of my insomnia. (well at least one that isn't crack or giberish.) to be honest im kinda proud of this one considering that its one of my late night writing sprees, but i want to know what you think. **

**Characters: Nurse!Canada, Nurse!Lithunia, teenage!fem!Russia**

**Warning: this fic contains things like implied illegal activities, such as human trafficking, rape, drug use and the subject of abortion. That's why I'm rating it M.**

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><p>Matthew smiled as he finished filling out his paper work for the night. As an elderly woman passed by, being wheeled out by one of her family, she grinned and waved at him. He didn't care that the others in his class used to laugh at him for dreaming of being a male nursed, or that they called him names like 'wuss' or 'fag' throughout high school. Right now all he cared for was his work, which he loved.<p>

"Hey Matt." He looked up from his sheet as he felt someone tap his shoulder. It was Miguel, from maintenance. He was glad that the dark skinned man had actually remembered that it was him. Usually outside of work, Miguel tended to mistake him for his twin, despite the fact that Matthew had been the one to help him gain his citizenship. The Cuban cleared his throat and nodded his head down the hall. "You should probably head down to reception. There's some sort of disturbance." He said before turning to the service elevators.

"Thanks." Matthew replied softly. He hoped that it wasn't anything too bad. The hospital wasn't located in a bad part of the city, but they still got a few crazies now and then. As he neared the waiting room, he could hear the sounds of shouting. Two voices, one speaking in English and the other in a foreign language, maybe Russian or Ukrainian. When he got there, he saw that there was someone being yelled at by the receptionist.

"FOR THE LAST TIME! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! CAZZO!" Lovina looked like she was about to hop over the desk and strangle the girl on the other side. The girl in question looked young, like she was hardly 15or 16. She looked very unhealthy; her violet eyes were a dim, her skin was very pale, her platinum blond hair was dull and filthy, and she was extremely thin. It made the large bump on her stomach more pronounced.

"Lovina let me handle this. You go and get some coffee or something." Matthew said placing a hand on the Italians shoulder. He knew how testy she could get when she was tired. She nodded and left the reception muttering curses under her breath. Once she was gone, he turned toward the patient. "Hello, I'm Matthew. I'm a nurse." He said smiling and pointing to his name tag.

"Pr-privet…" the girl stuttered out nervously. Her voice was shaky and her accent extremely thick. "I…n-need…d-d-doctor." Matthew nodded. He had already guessed that, but the problem was there were no doctors in the hospital that spoke Russian. And it would be nearly impossible to help her unless they could understand her. As he thought about the problem, he noticed that the girl was shifting nervously and looking around the waiting room. She seemed almost distressed.

Matthew snapped his fingers when he realized he knew someone who could help. "Hold on." He said holding up his hand. He pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial. It rang for a few moments before a familiar accented voice answered. "Hey Toris. It's me Matthew." He said. Matthew knew that Toris had been born in what is now Lithuania, but he spoke perfect Russian.

"Oh hi Matt. I'm afraid I'm running late. Would you mind covering for me." Matthew cursed in his head but kept his anger to himself. He was hoping that Toris would be already in the hospital.

"Well that's the thing. We have a patient here that doesn't speak English and I was hoping you could translate." He said looking back at the girl. She seemed to be growing more and more nervous. He was worried that she could break down any minute now. He could hear Toris sigh on the other end.

"Well I'm kinda caught in traffic. But put them on the line, I'll see what I can do."

"Alright." Matthew held the phone up to the girl, who jumped. Matthew pointed to the phone. "This is my friend. He can translate." He said slowly trying to make her understand. For a moment, she just stared at the cell, before gingerly picking it up and placing it to her ear.

"P-privet." She said tensely. Matthew could hear the fait murmuring of Toris' voice, which seemed to help the girl to relax. Instead of fragments of broken English, she started speaking rapidly in Russian. After a minute, the girl stopped talking and nodded, before handing the phone back to Matthew.

"Hey Matt? You there?" he heard Toris say. Matthew frowned at his friends tone. It was very low and serious.

"Ya I'm here. What's wrong? Is it serious?" there was silence on the other end of the line. "Toris?"

"You should talk to Dr. Connor." He was silent for another moment. Matthew waited before her heard him sigh. "Tell him…she's here for an abortion." Matthew frowned and looked at the girl before sighing himself. He knew that this was a sad reality, but that still didn't mean that he couldn't feel bad for the child that would never be.

"Alright. See you when you get here." He said closing his cell with a snap. "Please come with me." He said putting on his best smile trying to make her feel calm, and leading her by the arm down the hall towards Doctor Connors office.

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><p>Matthew sighed looking through the doorway. He had learned that the girls name was Anya, but knew nothing more. Currently, she was waiting for the doctor to call on her. He didn't know why, but this one was getting to him. Maybe it was because of her condition. Something really didn't seem right.<p>

"Matt?" Matthew jumped when someone grabbed his shoulder. He looked back to see that it was Toris. "Oh sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He said.

"No it's alright." Matthew replied before turning back to Anya. Toris cleared his throat.

"So is that her?" Matthew nodded. He could hear the brunette click his tongue and sigh. "It's really too bad." He said rather softly.

"Ya, she's way too young to realize it now, but she's going to regret this for the rest of her life." Matthew said. In the room, Anya got up from her chair and walked into the other room. "That poor baby."

"I was actually talking about the girl." Matthew looked at Toris in surprise. He didn't think that he was the kind of guy that would think that this was the right thing to do. "Don't give me that look. You didn't talk to her." He scowled at Matthew. "Look just come with me and I'll explain." Matthew nodded and followed as the other nurse led the way.

"So what's this about?" Matthew finally asked after several tense minutes of silence. Toris looked ahead with his face grave.

"Have you ever heard of the _Solntsevskaya Bratva?" _Toris asked. Matthew nodded. He had heard of the Russian mob, but didn't know much other than what he heard on the news. "Did you know about their human trafficking racket?"

Matthews's eyes widened. "Are you saying…that Anya…?"

"Well she wouldn't say that for sure, probably too afraid of what would happen if she did. But she did say that she was here illegally and that it…wasn't consensual. Plus I checked the test results on her blood work. It showed that she had trace amounts of heroin in her blood. They usually use it to make them dependent." Matthew bit down on his lip. The air seemed thicker as silence fell on them again. After a moment Toris turned towards him. "Matthew I need you to do me a favor. I'm going to call the police."

"What? No, Toris don't. It could be dangerous." Matthew said grabbing his arm. He couldn't even stand the thought of one of his friends in danger.

"I know. That's why I need all the help I can get. I heard that you helped Miguel get citizenship. That's why I want you to do the same thing for Anya. If the police do get involved, it runs the risk of her being deported. And I don't want that." The brunette hung his head before looking back to the blond. "So what do you say?" he said with a weak smile.

Matthew did his best to smile back at his friend. "I'll do what I can."

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><p><strong>AN: I'm not sure if I should continue this or not. I'm still working on my other fics, but if I get some support, I'll add another chapter or two. **


	2. Chapter 2:old demonsnew friends

**A/N: so I guess that I'm going to continue this. I don't have a lot but I do have a few ideas for future chapters but first, I need to tell Anya's side of the story. Also I wrote in italics what is supposed to be Russian, but because there is so much of it, I'm not going to type all of it in a translator and then have to retype it, so just use your imagination.**

**Warning: contains mention of child abuse, implied sexual activity and rape, drug and alcohol abuse and other really bad things. It makes me question my innocence. **

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><p>The bright fluorescent lights buzzed above, bathing the room in an eerie bright light. The harsh lighting only made the young girls already pale skin seem ghostly. She kept her dull violet eyes trained in the surface of the table in front of her, her head bowed down. The door on the other end of the room opened, but she didn't look up. "Miss Anya Braginski?" the deep gravelly voice of a man caused Anya to raise her gaze briefly before dropping it back to the table.<p>

"Da." She said softly.

"I'm detective George Karin. I will be asking you a few questions. If you don't feel comfortable with them don't answer alright." Anya didn't react, until she realized that there was more than one voice. One was definitely the deep voice of the detective, but the other was higher, more feminine. And it was speaking in her native tongue. "Due to the fact that you don't speak English, Mrs. Evans will be translating." She looked up to find the other voice.

Sitting across the table from her was a middle aged woman. The woman raised her hand and smiled a greeting at Anya. Her auburn hair streaked with grey was tied in a knot behind her head. She had a very weary yet kind face, like that of a mother. For some reason just having her around made Anya feel calmer. "Now then," the woman repeated everything the detective said in Russian. "Do you know why you are here Miss Braginski?"

"nyet." Anya noticed that the woman was translating her words. "_I went to the hospital to…to get a checkup._" She said. She knew that she was lying, but it was better. She knew what happened to those that spoke against the brotherhood.

"Miss Braginski, it's a federal offence to lie to an officer of the law. We have the hospital records; we know what you were really there for." He said leaning over the table to stare her directly in the eyes. Anya bit down on her lip and turned away from the detective. "Not only that but we only have the testimony of several of the hospital staff that you were there for an abortion. Now are you going to tell us the truth or-"

"_What he means is…" _the woman placed her hand on his forearm and cast the detective a glare. "_That we want to help you Anya. We have seen plenty of girls in situations just like yours and were hoping that we can help. But we can't do anything if you don't talk to us."_

Anya didn't look up. Help her. That's what they all said. Help her get to America, help her get to sleep, help her not to feel anything anymore. All it did was get her deeper and deeper into the hole they dug for her. Even that nurse, he said he'd help her. All he did was call the cops. He may have just signed her death warrant as well as his own. She knew there was no way she was getting out of this untouched, that's not how the brotherhood worked. She might as well take as many of them down with her.

She looked up at the detectives. Something just didn't feel right. They didn't really care about her; she was just another case, another witness out of hundreds they get every day. To be honest there was only one person that had shown any concern for her in what seemed like years. "_I'll speak but only on my terms."_

"_Well what do you want?"_

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><p>"<em>I was born in a small village near the Ukrainian border. I had two brothers, one was older and the other was younger than me. Our parents…well my father drank and gambled. whatever he had left from the liquor he usually lost. Then he would get mad and take it out on mother or us. My mother also drank, but because father usually lost all of our money, she would steal. My older brother raised me and Alexei practically all by himself." <em>Anya paused to look up at the only other person in the room. His shoulder length brown hair covered most of his face as he leaned down to write down everything she said. Toris Lorinaitis. The only person that had honestly cared about her wellbeing since she was a child.

"_I'm sure all of us dreamed of escaping that life. Of course we all had our own ideas. I remember once, Alexei tried to run away…He's never really recovered from the beating he got. Then one day, mother died. It didn't really come as much of a surprise, we all knew that she had been sick for a long time. But after that, things started to get out of hand. Father came home nearly every day drunk, he beat us often. The only time we could escape was when he would pass out and leave us to tend to ourselves. And his gambling only got worse. My older brother Nikolas had to get a job just to try and keep us afloat, but it was never enough. Alexei and I started to get close. He promised that one day, he would take me to America and I'd never have to come back to that horrible life." _The corner of her mouth twitched as Anya looked over to the side. "_Seems ironic…_

"_I remember that these men always were coming to our house. They would argue with father, usually about money or things like that. One of them…he always made me feel uncomfortable, the way he would look at me. Then one day, my brother was gone to work and me and Alexei had just gone to bed. He was fast asleep, he always fell asleep so quickly, and father came into the room that we shared. He woke me up and told me to go downstairs. I didn't want to get beaten, so I did what he said. When I got there, that man that was always staring at me was already there. Father told me that…that I had to go with him. That this man was going to help me get to America."_

"_How long ago was this?" _Toris asked not looking up from the paper. He knew when he agreed to this that it wouldn't be a pleasant chat. He was still in the dark as to why Anya had asked for him. She had cursed his name more than once as she was being taken in.

"_I think it was about two years ago, perhaps two and a half." _Anya started to trace invisible images into the table surface with the tip of her index finger. _"He did do what he said. And once I was in America, I was to meet with one of his business associates….If I had known what would have come out of it, I would have run as soon as I got out of the plane." _

Toris swallowed. He was dreading what he was to do next, but it needed to be done. "_What happened when you met these 'business associates'?_

"_They told me they were going to take me to where I would be staying. During the ride, they gave me water. They said that plane rides can make people dehydrated. I didn't want to offend them so I drank it…..I don't know what happened after that, but I woke up it was dark and I didn't know where I was…and I…I could feel someone…touching me and…and-" _Anya covered her mouth trying as her breathing started to become heavy and erratic. It took a moment before she calmed down. "_After that I was moved to one of their safe houses. Those people worked for the Russian Mafia, the brotherhood. They injected me with heroine so that it was easier to take advantage of me and make me dependant on them. They chose the clothes I wore, and if I wanted water or something to eat, I had to do…things to earn it. _

"_There were two other girls and a boy. He was younger than me. I remember his name was Ravis. I used to tease him, just because he was younger, but I loved him like my brother. And sometimes, I would find that he had snuck into my bed….I still remember his screams during the first few weeks. _

"_I don't remember how much time I spent there, it was somewhere between a few months to a year. But one day, a man came to where we were being held. He told us to line up and he inspected each of us." _Anya tried to repress a shudder as she remembered that horrible man. "_I remember he looked at me and smiled. It made me feel sick. He told them…that he liked me. And that he wanted me to himself. I later learned that he controlled this entire area. They just referred to him as 'General Winter.' And I had just become his new favorite."_

On the other side of the two way mirror, the detective's eyes widened. The General was notorious members of the Russian mafia. Everyone up to the FBI had been trying to get something, anything. But he was too smart for any of that. Now they had what they needed to take him down.

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><p>"Mattie can we get out of here? I'm starved." Matthew tried his best to ignore his twin brotherroom-mate. He had and a few other staff at the hospital had come to give emotional support to Toris. Why exactly had he even invited Alfred along? Oh right, he thought he would get to ride in a cop car.

"If you're hungry then go get something from the vending machine." Matthew replied. Some of the others had gone home. But he Lovina and her twin Felicina were still around. They had been waiting there for hours. Just as Matthew had thought about heading home to turn in, Toris emerged from the back. One of the inspectors patted him on the shoulder as he passed saying something that Matthew couldn't hear. "Hey Toris. How was it?" he said putting on his best smile. Toris didn't reply. He just stared ahead with large unfocused green eyes. Matthew tried to think of something that he could say, but Toris suddenly launch himself towards the closest garbage, bent over the edge and threw up. "That bad?" Toris nodded.

"That bastard…I hope he rots in jail!" he said cursing at the wall while holding onto the edge of the garbage. Matthew patted him on the back, lost for words. He had seen Toris treat junkies that were hopped up in god knows what with a smile. He handled the most difficult people with such patience. And this was the first time that Matthew had ever curse someone's name. Whatever this man did, he deserved more than just to be thrown in jail.


	3. Chapter 3:found her,standing in the rain

**A/N: thank you all sooo much for your reviews. They make me so happy. And I feel so bad for poor Anya. **

**The name of this chapter is a tribute to the song that partly inspired this fic. **

'_and in other new, the notorious Russian mob boss Borislav Glebovich also known as General Winter was sentenced to life in prison today with no possibility of parole. You may remember that Glebovich was found guilty of several charges of rape as well as assault of a minor several weeks ago. The trial made headlines all over the country due to the graphic testimony by a 15 year old girl whose name was not released to the public-'_

"Mattie change it. This station sucks." Alfred whined as he reached towards the dial on the radio. Matthew scowled at his twin and swatted his hand away. He didn't need this kind of distraction while he was driving especially while it was raining.

"God damnit Alfred. Great I missed it. Thanks a lot."

"What did I do?" he replied in a rather annoying dejected tone.

"Haven't you ever heard not to distract the driver? Besides they were talking about the trial. You know you should really be more courteous. I mean I'm the one who has to drive you across town just so you can get your damn MacDonald's. And you kno-"

"You talking about that trial with the Russian chick?" Alfred asked trying to cut his brother off before he got into another 'you-know-that-fast-food-is-bad-for-you' rant, which would lead to some 'you-should-probably-lose-some-weight' nagging.

"Her name is Anya. And yes." Matthew bit down on his lip. "I wonder what happened to her. She spoke out against the Russian mob. She might be in danger. I'd hate to see her back in the hospital or worse the morgue."

"Something tells me that you may be seeing her sooner than expected." Matthew looked over at his brother to ask what he meant, only to see that he was staring out the window. It took Matthew a second to register what he was seeing but he managed to recognise the long platinum blond hair.

He slammed on the brakes sending the car skidding across the wet surface, but Matthew managed to regain enough control to steer into an alley. As soon as the car stopped, he took off towards the familiar figure standing on the other side of the alley. He grabbed the girl's shoulder, probably more rough than he should, but right now there was only. "Anya you're ok!" he practically screamed. The Russians violet eyes widened in shock as she turned to look him in the eyes.

He was just about to hug the girl, when he felt something roughly shove him back. He could feel his back hit the rough brick of the wall and felt a harsh grip on his neck. "WHAT THE HELL? THINK YAH CAN JUS' BURST IN 'ERE AND TAKE WHAT YAH WANT? WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YAH, SHE'S MI BITCH!" Matthew clutched at the hands that encircled his neck as the deranged man started to try and smash his head against the wall.

"Get your hands off my brother you dick!" Matthew cringed slightly as Alfred smashed the bat that he kept under the seat against the man's head. The attacker collapsed to the ground clutching his head. "Matt are you alright?" Alfred asked his shocked twin. Matthew just stared at him horrified for a moment before something seemed to click in his mind.

"Oh ya I'm fine. You go back to the car." Alfred looked at him quizzically as his twin pushed past him. The Canadians footsteps echoed down the alley as he slowly approached the young girl hiding behind a trash can. "Anya? Are you ok?" The girl just looked up at him with fear and shock reflected in her violet irises. He gave her the best reassuring smile that he could muster and extended his hand to help her up. "Come on let's get you out of the rain."

Reluctantly, Anya took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. As he did, Matthew noticed something. He grabbed her sleeve and started to push it up. Under the fabric there were several clear fresh injection marks on her arm. Matthew eyes widened. "Are you…?" the Russian hung her head not looking him in the eyes as her wet blond hair covered most of her face. "Anya…no…how could you…? Any look at me." He gently cupped the girls face and turned it up so that he was looking her in the eyes. "I wish you could understand. I wish I could tell you that I don't want to see you do this anymore. Anya I want you to have a better life. Please, please understand." Matthew replied practically begging as tears started to slide down his cheeks mixing with the rain drops on his face. He stared deeply into her eyes for some sort of sign, some little spark of recognition that showed that she knew that he was here now, that she didn't need this anymore.

To his surprised, Anya lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his torso choking out what little English she knew. "Please…Matvey…help me." She said wrapping her arms tighter around him. Matthew held her close and stroked her soaked her hair.

"It's alright. I'm here now. You don't have to go back." He said trying to comfort her through his own sobs. He didn't care that the rain was pouring down. Right now, she was the only one that mattered.

**A/N: ya I know that its short, but I'll have another one up sooner. I mentioned that this chapter is named after a song, but I forgot to put it in the top note. That song is 'Standing in the Rain' by Billy Talent. Also the movie Eastern Promises played a big role. **


	4. Chapter 4:a very long night

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to all my readers. I love you all. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. **

**Warning: mentions of drug use.**

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><p>Toris stared blankly into his coffee cup on the table. He sighed and closed his eyes trying to clear his mind. He hadn't been sleeping well since the trial. Every time he lay down to try and sleep, all he could hear was her voice, that shaking voice describing all the horrible things that happened. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He was doing it again. He needed to clear his mind. He took a few deep breaths and listened to the steady ticking of the clock on the wall.<p>

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Hey Tori! Open up its me, Al and I brought Mattie." Toris sighed again and cracked a small smile. Well it would take his mind off of everything for a while. He stood up from his chair and went to the door. As soon as he had opened it a crack, Alfred forced his way in.

"Thanks dude. Can I use your microwave? My Big Mac's not getting any warmer." The brunet just shook his head and laughed. Alfred always had a way of brightening up a room. Something about his happy-go-lucky attitude and bright smile was infectious.

"What the hell will I do with him?" Toris laughed again. He knew that Matthew was too polite to come in without being invited. As he turned to face his guest, he could have sworn his heart stopped. He had brought someone with him.

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><p>"I found her on the street. She was working a dealer trying to get her next hit." Matthew released a low sad breath and stared down into his coffee. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all it is something that's hard to give up. But I don't know. I just can't let this one go." Toris patted his friend on his shoulder but didn't say anything.<p>

"It's going to be a long hard road. For all of us. We basically have to tear her down and build from the ground up. And even then she may never have a normal healthy relationship. Are you sure that you still want to do this?" Matthew nodded.

"Yes, now more than ever."

"WHAT THE FU-" they both jumped when they heard Alfred cry in the other room. Both of them were shocked to see Anya, on her knees with her arms wrapped tightly around Alfred's waist, crying in her desperately into his stomach while chocking out a few phrases in her native language. Alfred was trying to pry her off of him. "I can't understand you. Get the fuck off me." Toris rushed over to Anya and pried her off of the angry blond with speaking rapidly to her in Russian. Matthew went over to his brother.

"What happened?" Alfred just shrugged and shook his head.

"I dunno. I was just eating, and I noticed she was kinda shaking and bent over. So I asked her what was wrong. Next thing I know shes trying to tear my pants off and crying and saying who the fuck knows what." Matthew just sighed and looked towards Toris. The brunet was still holding the shaking girl.

"Toris?" the brown haired man looked up. "What is she saying?" he didn't say anything he just stared at the trembling foreigner that he was holding with great empathy in her green eyes. "Toris?"

"She saying 'I need it. I'll do anything.'" Matthew sighed again and closed his eyes. Something told him that this was going to be a long night.

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><p>The sound of water flowing through the tap was all that was heard through the apartment. Matthew and Alfred had to go back to their own home, but Matthew promised to be back later with some Methadone and Buprenorphine later this evening. But for now it was just him and Anya.<p>

He tried to smile as he turned off the taps to the bathtub and turned to Anya. She was still shaking, sweating profusely and hunched over looking like she was in a lot of pain. He knew that the withdrawal would be tough; heroin is a very powerful drug. She didn't respond to his call. He slowly stood up and approached where she was sitting on the toilet. Anya was too delirious to notice as he carefully undressed her, lifted her thin body up and set her down in the bath.

The Lithuanian rolled up his sleeves and began to wash her. By the amount of grim and sweat on her skin, he estimated that it had probably been week since her last proper bath. He tried to be careful, her body was so thin it almost seemed like her bones were made of glass. Her skin was a sickly shade from years of drug use and lack of sun. The scars that criss crossed her back and chest only made him feel worse. Toris knew that if it were three years earlier, she would have any of these scars. She probably would look like a completely different person. He shook his head and tried to remind himself not to get off track.

Anya didn't say a word while he was bathing her, but she did whisper and mumble a few times. Most of it was inaudible. As he finished up, he wrapped her in a large towel and helped her out of the bathtub. "брат?" she said quietly. Toris froze and turned to look at her. She was obviously delirious but Toris didn't want to alarm her.

"да." He replied with a small smile. This night was going to be hell, but the least he could do was try and give her a little comfort.

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><p>"<em>Sister!" the small house was illuminated by a few flickering candles that cast dancing shadows across the walls. The low light gave the entire scene a dim smoky appearance, yet the deep sapphire eyes that stared up at her were as clear as shining pools of water that seemed to brighten up the entire room. "Sister look. I got this for you." The boy said proudly as he handed a bouquet of sunflowers to her. <em>

"_For me?" the voice seemed so high and quiet, so strange to her own ears. The boy nodded. She could feel the velvety smooth petals brush her face as she took the flowers. "Thank you."_

"_Sister you won't leave will you?" the shining eyes started to reflect such deep pain in them. But all she could do was stare back confused. "Leave like mother did?" _

"_No I'll always be here. I'll always be with you and big brother." She chirped happily. She could see the eyes sparkle again with delight before they closed blocking out the rest of the light._

"_Say you love me." _

"_What?" the voice was different. Like a horse grating on her ears, it made her feel pain in the depth of her stomach. _

"_I said," the horrible harsh voice repeated with harsh cold malice. She tried to move, but her hand and feet were bound to the wall. The voice was burning; it tore at her skin like sandpaper. "Say it!" the crack was defining and the pain blinding. She tried to shrink away tried to block it out, but it was impossible. Her breath was short and rapid, her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest and her insides were twisting in pain. She wanted it to end. "Then say it! And when you do," she could see the shine of the needle in the light. She knew that inside was what she needed, it would take the pain away, it would make her warm and numb, which was exactly what she wanted. "then you will get your reward."_

"_Я тебя люблю." She whispered. But that wasn't enough. It was never enough. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, look into his cold grey eyes and say it to his face. "Я тебя люблю!" she practically screamed. She wanted it now. She wanted to drift away from the world and forget. _

_Yet when she felt the needle break the skin, she knew that something was wrong. It wasn't the warm numbing bliss that she wanted. It was horrible, like liquid fire was spilling into her veins. It was blinding burning yet so cold that it seemed to freeze her to her bones. She twisted and writhed but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find any comfort, just more pain. 'Anya' the voices calling her burned her ears. The memories making her head pound and throb. 'Anya!' she tried to hide from them. She curled up in the darkness and prayed that she could escape. "Anya!" yet in the distance she could see a glow on the horizon. The light was almost blinding as it reflected off each golden strand of hair and radiated from that kind face and gentle smile. The man was so familiar, and his presence seemed to fill her with warmth. "Anya! Wake up!"_

Anya jolted awake to see that she wasn't trapped in some horrible darkness, but instead in someone apartment. She looked up to see that Matthew was standing over her "oh thank god. I was worried for a second. Look I brought the medication over. Take two of these three times a day. Hopefully we'll be able to get you down to one a day soon and then have you completely off." Anya didn't understand a word he was saying but he held out a bottle of medication. As she tried to reach out and take it, she became aware that there was something lying on her stomach. It seemed that Toris had fallen asleep, a cloth was still in his one hand and his other was wrapped around her own. She realized that he must have fallen asleep while taking care of her during the night.

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><p><strong>Again sorry about the delay. Also those of you that liked my other story Hockey Sticks, I'll have a new chapter out soon. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5: family ties

**A/N: sorry this took so damn long. This section isnt about Anya, but instead about her family. Here are the names and ages. (note they probably arent canon but I don't know the offical names). Also Anya is almost 15 and was origanally abducted when she was 12. **

**Nikolas- male!ukraine (18)**

**Alexie- male!belarus (13)  
><strong>

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><p>The sound of each foot fall on the worn tile floor seemed to echo through the hall. "I am plased to say that Alexie is doing much better since the last time you have visitied. He is getting alongwith the other children better and its been over 6 weeks since he last got into a fight." The tall robust young man nodded silently. He felt kinda bad that he was tracking mud into the clean halls, but he had just come from the farm.<p>

Since the death of theyre father about 8 months ago, Nikolas had no choice but to turn to back breaking farm work. Before he had worked in various jobs, mostly as a delivery boy or working in stores, but they had lived in the heart of the city. he actually didn't mind the work. It may be hard and the hours were long and tiring, but the pay was good and it always helped to take his mind off of all of the bad that had happened in his life. And off Anya. The tall straw haired man shook his head trying to clear its of the horrible thoughts about his missing sister.

"спасибі" he said quietly as the woman pointed out the familiar door. Nikolas slowly aproached it and gave it a few gentel knocks.

"входят в." The young man sighed as he opened the door to the confines of the stark grey room. There was little furtature in it; only a bed, a dresser, two chairs and a desk. However most of the room was covered in clothing as well as a couple of dried dead sunflowers. Sitting at the desk with his eyes turned down to the open book on its surface was a preteen with silvery blond hair. The younger boy looked up and tried to force a smile. "_oh privet brother. I wasn't expecting you so soon." _Alexie said jesturing to the spare chair in his room. Nikolas smiles slightly as he sat down in it and watched his younger brother close the book. "_your looking well brother." _He said formally.

Nikolas tried to smiles but he could feel that familiar bitter sadness build in the back of his throat like a bitter drink pouring down his throat. "_thank you. Ive been working very hard. Your ah tuition costs a lot of money." _He replied with a strained smile. He could see his younger brother frown, his lips pulling tightly almost into a scowl. Nikolas always hated to sees his family frown so he tried to distract hiself by looking around the room, but other than the furnature and cloths there was nothing but a couple of imcomplete wood carvings. Alexie had always enjoyed the craft. Though after mother died his carving became darker and sadder

"_brother…ive been thinking….." _something about the tone in his younger brother voice made the tall Ukranian uneasy. "_whenever you visit, you say how much my tuition costs. But I don't even want to go to this school anymore. I want to be home with the family. I'll work if I have to." _Alexie said hopefully. Nikolas couldn't help but tear up slightly. His brother had always been strong emotionally, yet whever they talked about home and of family, he could hear that tiny spark of hope and pain and what seemed like every strong emotion that anyone could feel. He wished more than anything that he could have brought him home, but the truth was there was nothing to go back to.

"_im sorry. But I cant Alexie….." _the Ukranians deep tenor voice cracked slightly as he tried to hold in the tears that built up for so many months. Perhaps even years. He knew that most other men called him a crybaby for openly crying, but it was one of the few outlets he had to relieve all the pain that he had experienced in his short life. "_your not ready to come home yet." _ He braced himself for what was to come next. Alexie would no doubt be upset and like usual take his feelings out on the closest thing around.

Nikolas closed his eyes and awaited the upcoming blow, but to his surprise he didn't feel anything. As he opened his deep blue irises he noticed that his brother was indeed upset, but it was fear and pain that was written all over his face. "_but brother….something terrible has happened. Or is going to happen. I can feel it."_

"_what?"_ He couldn't tell if this was some excuse that Alexie was making or genuine concern.

"_I had a dream. It actually comes every night. I dream that sister is calling, calling for me to come and help her. She screaming for help, screaming my name, crying for someone. But everytime I try and run to the sound of her screams, father stands in my way. And when I fight him all I see is red. Red everywhere. On the walls. On the floors. On my hands. Everywhere. Please brother, something bad is going to happen." _Nikolas could help the steady stream of tears that rolled down his cheeks as he pulled his brother into a bonecrushing hug.

"_no. no everything is fine. Youll finish your schooling and when you get home youll see our entire family is still happy and fine. There is no need to worry." _His broad chest heaved up and down as he stroked Alexie's pale blond locks. He wished beyond wishing that what he said was true, and he wanted dearly to believe hes own words, but even Alexie seemed to see through the thin veil of lies he had hung.

"_your lying…."_it wasn't an accusations, more a statement of truth. Nikolas could respod. Alexie knew he was lying, that all his word were nothing but heavily sugar coated statements of a fantasy that was playing out in his mind. He could hear the young teen growl in the back of his throat. "_your lying! Your lying to me! Whats happened? Whats happeneing?why wont you tell me the truth?" _

Nikolas could feel the hand incircle his neck before he even had a chance to reply. In his rage Alexie drew strength and he could feel his grip tighten harshly. He didn't even try to pull the hands off his neck. He knew that it would be pointless, and in a few moments, Alexia was torn away from his borther by a couple of staff. Nikolas didn't want to see his brother like this, deranged screaming curses and even statements that didn't even make sense. As he turned and left the room he could hear Alexie fighting with every breath that he held in his lungs until the comotion slowly faded. "_Mister Arlovskaya?" _Nikolas looked up to see a womans in a clean pressed uniform aproach him. She wrinkled her nose at his filthy atire and looked at him with a sense of superiprity. "_what in gods name did you say to him?" _he should have known that this was coming, that someone would come to berate or interagate him. But he was never one to lie to an authority figure.

"_what he wanted to hear."_ It was all he could say to her before straightening up to leave. But as he reached the door and tried to turn the knob, he heard the nurse reply.

"_it would be a lot easier on all of us if you just told him the truth." _

Nikolas could feel his blood begin to boil. _"You mean tell a 13 year old child that his drunken father sold his 12 year old daughter to the mafia to cover his gambling debts? You want me to tell him that he took a knife and stabbed his own father 17 times in the chest? You want me to tell him that?" _he heard nothing, no response from the woman behind him. He could do nothing but shake his head as he turned and left the hospital.

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><p>The room was cold when he got back. That didn't really surprise him thought. He couldn't afford proper heating; most of his money went to the hospital that Alexie was being treated in. Nikolas sighed as he sat down at the small table in the center of the room and looked at the stack of unopened letters. His neighbour always picked up the mail while he was gone. Most would probably be just bills or thank you notes from families that he helped with the harvest.<p>

Other than the table, he didn't have much for furniture. A couple of chairs a bed and a small black and white television was all he needed. He didnt actually spend much time in the apartment except after the fall harvest. Winter was the only time that he wasn't wandering the countryside looking for work at farms. But as he opened the fridge he got a reminder that his last visit to his 'home' had been months ago. With a heavy sigh, he begrudgingly threw on his coat and headed out the door.

As Nikolas passed through the lobby, he saw his land lord staring at a letter curiously. "_hello mr. Chaplinski." _He said as he passed.

"_wait Nikolas, I need you to look at something." _The tall Ukrainian stopped for a moment before walking over to him. The elderly man held up the letter for him to see. "_a few days ago, this letter arrived. It had been forwarded from your old address. But the problem is, its addreesed to a Nikolas Bragniski. But I thought your name was Arlovskaya?" _

Nikolas carefully picked up the letter with shaking hands. It had been a while since anyone had called him by his father's surname. After his death, he and Alexie both swore that the Bragniski name would die with him and took their mother's maiden name Arlovskaya. "_ah thank you. I think I should read it now." _He said as he practically ran back into his room.

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><p><em>Dear brother, <em>

_Im sorry I haven't written to you before, but even if I had, it would be unlikely that I could have gotten the letter into the mail. I know that you must be worried about me; it has been almost three years since I last saw you. I know that you must have changed so much. I miss you so much._

_As you may or may not know, I am no longer in Russia. It is very hard to explain, but you should know that these past three years have been hard. Im not sure if I should tell you everything yet, because I don't want you to worry. I know you probably have been all these years, but I can now say that I can now put your mind at ease. _

_Though I have been struggling through the darkest parts of this world since I left home, or rather was taken from it, I have met someone who I can say is probably the embodiment of good. Or rather two people. Toris was the first person in America that I have met that realized I needed help. What's more, he actually risked his own safety by calling the police. And Matthew, he actually found me and pulled me off the streets. They have both been working very hard and because of them, I am no longer a slave to the drugs that had consumed my life. And thanks to Matthew I may become a citizen. Don't be sad, I do miss you and even Alexie, but this may be my chance to escape from father and make a new life in a new country. _

_I hope that this letter reaches you quickly. If you want to send one to me, Toris says that he will take care of my mail until I get my own place to live. Just use the return address. _

_Love your sister,_

_Anya_

_P.S. just so you believe me, I have inclosed a recent photo of myself with my new friends. (Matthew is the blond and Toris is the brown-haired one._

Warm salty tears streamed down Nikolas' face as he re-read the letter for the 3rd time. He knew just by the writing that it was hers. For the first time in years, he was crying tears of joy. Not only from knowing that his sister was alive and safe, but also being able to see her. It may have only been a photo, but just seeing her face was enough to give him a great sense of joy and hope.

Hope that soon all the lies he had told Alexie might be come true. Hope for a new life, perhaps in America, a better life. Hope that one day, they could be a family again.

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><p><strong>AN: again sorry its late**


	6. Chapter 6: better or worse

**A/N: *staggers to computer holding multiple gunshot wounds* uhhhh…..ok so maybe I wasn't being entirely truthful when I said I would have a new chapter for my other story. *shot again* **

**Sorry but all my ideas just seem to center around this one or others that I don't think I'll ever write. [Not because they're bad or anything, I just think that they are ridiculous] also I can't really do romantics without it turning to tragedy. So if you're hoping for shipping, you came to the wrong author. [Not that I'm much of one anyway.] But to be honest I'm done with bending over backwards to empress people I don't know. If you like it, tell me, if you don't then don't read. There are plenty of other stories.**

**For now I'm just going to concentrate on writing what my mind is telling me too.**

**~TFG**

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><p>Warm sunlight poured in through the half open window, as the breeze carried the fresh scent of flowers from the garden below. Anya couldn't help but smile as she looked across the open court yard of the building. It felt like an eternity since she first laid eye on the massive stone building. It had looked so dreary drenched in the gloomy glow of the overcast sky.<p>

The very thought of staying in it had frightened her to no end, but Matthew had been there to ease her worries. she didn't know what it was about him, maybe the way his golden lock seemed to reflect light like the sun or the shimmering in his violet eyes that almost reminded her of her own that calmed her. She didn't need to understand what he was saying; just knowing that he was there was enough for her. And hearing Toris' voice always soothed her fears. How had she ever gone so long without friends like this?

Anya couldn't help but smile at the thought. It had been years since she had had actual friends that were outside of her family. Well perhaps Ravis could be considered one, but they stayed together mostly out of fear of their future. But now, Anya knew that she had a bright future. And it was because of her amazing friend that she had a better life to look forward too.

As the Russian youth stared absent mindedly out the window, she noticed something familiar in the courtyard below. She only needed to glance in the direction of the approaching vehicle to know whose it was. There was no way that you could miss the rather large patriotic eagle soaring across the hood of Alfred Jones' car.

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><p>"Hey sorry Mattie couldn't be here. He said something about some sort emergency shit, I dunno I wasn't really listening." Alfred said as her practically threw himself down on the bed. Anya couldn't help but giggle. Alfred was always happy and enthusiastic (albeit a little ignorant but still it something about his happiness was infectious). "Oh bee tee double u I brought you some mickey D's"<p>

Anya wrinkled her nose and pushed the paper bag that smelled heavily of greasy beef out of her face. "Blah!" she said trying not to laugh as she saw Alfred's face contort into one of shock and horror.

"YOU DON'T LIKE MACDONALDS?" she tried not to giggle as she shook her head in reply. "BUT THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE! NAY IT'S ATIAMERICAN! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BE ONE OF GOD GREATES CITZENS IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE GREASY DIVINITY OF MICKEY D'S?"

"Жаль, что я не говорю глупые"

"Awwww crap. you still don't speak English?" she was surprised that Alfred actually looked a little disheartened. Normally he wasn't one to care about foreigners, though she had guessed that he had taken to her a bit. and she couldn't help but have her mood lifted by his infectious bubbliness. Alfred let out a deep sigh as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well that kinda sucks. I mean I was hoping that we might actually have like a real conversation. cuz you know I don't get to talk that much to you. but I understand I mean you might not even want to talk to me cuz like Matt is over what every week and so is Toris

"Alfred." the blond looked up at her with shock and joy in the depths of his blue eyes.

"W-what? You know my name? YOU KNOW MY NAME!" with little warning, he excitedly launched himself forward and wrapped his arms around the thin girl crushing her in a tight bear hug. "OH MY GOD THAT'S SO AWESOME. I DIDN'T KNOW! THIS IS SO COOL. SO ARE WE FRIENDS? DID MATTIE TEACH IT TO YOU? WAIT WHAT THE HELL DOES MATTIE SAY ABOUT ME?"

"Da! I know name! Let go!" Anya replied as she attempted to break his grip. luckily Alfred seemed to come to his senses and released her.

"Wait so you know English too?" he said flopping back down on the bed. Anya rolled her eyes. She had been learning English for a tutor since she had been brought here as well as going to therapy between her treatments.

"Da. teacher say I'm…uhh improving, yes?" Alfred beamed at her clapping his hands. she took it that meant yes.

"That's great! I'll have to tell Mattie. oh wait does he know already?" Anya nodded at him as she took a seat beside Alfred.

"da, matvey does….though I need ask something."

"shoot." Alfred replied grabbing a drink to wash down the fries he had just stuffed into his face. Anya cringed at the crumbs now all over her bed. but she decided it was better to ignore them and turned back to Alfred slurping his extra-large drink.

"matvey not talk much about family. Other then you. why is this?" out of the corner of her eye she could see Alfred's expression drop. he looked down to the floor shuffling his feet over the laminate print. she was starting to regret asking, but her curiosity had been peeked. whenever Mathew visited, he tried to avoid the topic of family, though sometimes liked to complain about Alfred's sloppy, lazy ways. she was starting to wonder what was wrong when she heard Alfred let out a deep sigh.

"I'm not surprised Mattie doesn't talk about it. he never really did recover after mom and dad split." he shifted his position so that he was facing her with his legs crossed. Anya did the same so that she could at least look him in the eye properly. "Alright Anya, I'm not going to lie to you. Growing up was rough for me and Matt. I mean obviously not as rough as for you and all this crazy shit but I mean it still kinda sucked. You see me and matt weren't exactly planned. In fact I think that last thing that our parents ever wanted was to even touch each other let alone have kids. Mom and dad were only together as a marriage of convenience. Mom needed a reason to stay in the country, and because dad had a permanent teaching visa or something like that, dad could give her that. I mean don't get me wrong I love mom, but she really was just using him. but it wasn't as badly as dad was using her. my father….is gay." Anya tried her best to let the word sink in as Alfred took a breath. it seemed that talking about it made him somber.

"but the worst part was he was so deep in the closet that he denied it to himself. I mean I didn't know it until I was about 13. that's when I started to pick up on the signs. both I and Matt had thought that our parents acted strange. I mean you could tell when there is no love in the household. and there wasn't any, not even a drop. mom tried her best to act like the doting mother but the way she looked at us, through the corner of her eye, like we were just stupid mutts that had wondered in off the streets. and dad….he just didn't seem to care." Alfred's hands curled into tight fists bunching the fabric of his jeans. Anya reluctantly reached out and patted one of them, as though she was trying to comfort him but just didn't know how, or even why. but it was all she could do.

it seemed to be enough to break Alfred out of his self-misery as he took a deep breath and continued. "it was hard at times. for the most part we raised ourselves because they were too busy avoiding us or fighting. god I hated the yelling. sometimes I wonder if they knew that we snuck out when they fought. and over the years it just seemed to happen more and more. eventually it reached a point that they could no longer deny that neither had no feelings; that they only stayed together for us or their own selfish reasons. so they split. and that's where troubles between Matt and Dad happened.

you see after the divorce, dad got custody of me, but Matt stayed with mom. Unfortunately mom got deported, but she didn't want him to live with her anymore, so instead she sent him to be raised by her brother and his husband." Anya covered her mouth as her purple eyes widened in shock. "exactly. as you can guess, dad didn't take to well to Mattie being raised by a gay French man. to be honest I kinda envied him. he had a great life, two fathers that cared and loved him, and what did I have? a stuffy old grump that was in denial, no matter how many times you caught him. and after all the years living under him, I finally snapped." Alfred shifted causing the bedsprings to creek under him. Anya waited for him to star speaking again, but the expression etched into his face was grave, the normal bubbly smile he wore was gone and the sparkle in his eyes had faded and in the corners, she could see small tears.

she was starting feel a strange pain in her stomach. almost like guilt. she felt bad that she had dragged all these horrid memories to the surface. and she knew what it was like to relive them, just by telling someone, for she had done so time and time again just through the trial. she slowly leaned her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. Alfred tensed under the unexpected touch, but after a moment he shifted enough to hug her back. "thank you." he said barley above a whisper.

"you're welcome. sometimes some listen is best medicine, yes?"

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><p>Anya smiled as she wiped the sweat that had beaded on her brow from the hot sun. as strange as it sounded, the tall bright petals of the sunflowers that she had been tending to these past few months seemed to beam back at her. she loved sunflowers, they're lovely yellow petals had all ways cheered her up back in her home. she would even steal a few from the neighbor's garden, but she had a sneaking suspicion that they let her.<p>

her smile faded somewhat when as the soft petals brushed her cheek. for some reason it reminded her of her of her brother, and the letter she had gotten from him a few days ago. needless to say, she was shocked to hear what had happened in her absences, and yet the thought of not having to return to that son of a bitch comforted her. she only hoped that Alexei would recover and Nikolas could raise enough money even if it was only to visit.

as she passed by the mirror in the lobby, a small giggle slipped out. maybe she should have washed her hands before rubbing the all over her face and hair. after placing the freshly cut sunflowers in a vase by her bed, she grabbed her towel and a change of clothes and headed to the showers. to her relief the only one else in the room was a girl she knew, but because she was new and going through withdrawals, it was unlikely the she would want to talk.

Anya turned the tap letting the hot water wash the dirt off her pale skin. it felt good to be clean, after all that time. and not just her skin. it was like her innocence had returned, like her soul was becoming pure again. of course she may never be able to rid herself of the scars but she was slowly learning to live with them. after she finished showering and wrapped the towel around herself, she noticed something from the corner of her eye. there was a small mirror hanging by the entrance but it wasn't that which interested her. it was her reflection.

since she had begun rehab, Matthew and Toris had told her that she was looking better every day. but now she could see what they meant. her eyes were no longer dull and held a deep innocence and joy in them. her once ghostly white skin was starting to look better, probably from all the time she spent in the garden. she had even gained a little weight which made her frame look more human. yes she was starting to look human again, no longer a slave or a toy, she was human. she was Anya. and her life was looking up.

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><p>the television in the corner of the room droned on with the daily news. every once in a while, the former crack addict who was convinced about strange government conspiracies would jump out spouting nonsense 'confirmed' by what he just heard on it. but by now, everyone had learned to tune him out and continue with their meal.<p>

Anya giggled watching him as she nibbled on her toast. she had managed to eat more and keep food down better then when she had first arrived. it almost made her proud. her English lessons were also paying off; she could understand more and more of what people were talking about and even was able to pick up on full conversations.

as she got up to put her plate back she felt someone violently grab her arm. dark tense memories flooded her mind and she turned on her heel wrapping her foot around the attacker's legs and tripping him. Anya stared down at the person, only to discover that it was the conspiracy theorist. "I TOLD YOU! RUSSIAN SPIES EVEYWHERE!" he said flailing like a flag caught in a hurricane. Anya just rolled her eyes. this wasn't the first time she had been the object of his interest, and more than once she had caught him planting 'bugs' in her room that turned out to be rocks. "tell me this then…." he said as he finally managed to get to his feet. "why is your ACCOMPLICE on the TV?" he said giving her a feral bug eyed stare.

Anya pushed him out of the way as she looked up at the TV screen. her heart stopped when she realized that she did know how was on it. but the caption above it made her want to burst into tears.

LOCAL MAN REPORTED MISSING

TORIS LORINAITIS

IF SEEN PLEASE CONTACT POLICE.

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><p><strong>If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner of shame.<strong>


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